fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
