Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
