pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
