I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
