Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
