Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
