bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
