I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
