Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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