Yo dont text me then not text me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
