We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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