I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
