Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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