I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Randomize
