What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
