well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
