should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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