I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
