How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
