She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
