Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
