dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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