I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
