we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
