dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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