I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
