I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
