I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
