What did we do last night that was yellow?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
