This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
