sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
