You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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