these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
mondays should just be called national damage control day
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
