Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
