i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
