Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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