My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This house was built for laser tag.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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