the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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