I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
