My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize