i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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