my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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