his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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