I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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