I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
