it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
