she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
