WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
