i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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