made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
