Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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