My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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