sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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