I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
