Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
