It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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