Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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