if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
