It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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